Corpus Fidelium

Since I’ve moved around a lot, I’ve been to a lot of churches. Churches that gathered in big new buildings, little old ones and school auditoriums; been a part of big congregations with lots of programs and small ones with only one or two services a week; sung time-worn hymns and contemporary worship songs; listened to preachers that stood stoically behind a podium and read from a script, and preachers who paced back and forth, passionately ad-libbing their message.

I know that there are different things people look for when they’re searching for a church. Some seek a particular preaching or music style; some, a class or group for their specific demographic, or programs for their children; some want to be lost in a crowd while others seek the seclusion of a smaller, more familial atmosphere.

But none of those matter to me: what I seek is welcome. That is the indicator that I read to determine their spirit. The New Testament so often refers to the Church as a family or body; and both of those require cohesion. “Faith, hope, love; but the greatest of these is love,” (or charity). To me, charity is more proactive. Love is an emotion, but charity is a verb. It sees needy loneliness and outgoing friendliness, and embraces them both, bringing them together as a single entity for Christ’s glory.

It doesn’t matter if you’re singing Beethoven or Big Daddy Weave if your heart’s not in the words. Programs are nothing and preaching is vain if you aren’t living out loud and reaching out not only to those who are lost in sin but also to those who are floating disembodied, seeking a voice, a meaning, a friend, a home, a passion, a family… looking for a tangible Savior whose light radiates through these cracked vessels of clay, making it clear that any goodness seen therein is from Him, though the Light does lend a radiant beauty to the humble earthen ware, visible to the eyes of those who’ve also been blessed.

So often we neglect our fellow believers, tossed onto the Path with a road map but with no guide or companion. We try to forge ahead in self-sufficiency and both ourselves and others suffer as a result. It is together that we must stand; and together we can face anything. If you’ve given your heart to Christ - and home is where the heart is - shouldn’t a body of believers be where we feel most at home?

No Ordinary Days

My day began with a cup of tea, which my old/battered/abused/battery-drained camera chose to portray somewhat more artistically than even I intended. It was at least a perfect visual portrayal of the drink - a "London Fog" (Earl Grey, milk and vanilla).

When we went to my parents' house to do laundry and bake cookies, I found a butterfly in the kitchen, tapping its proboscis against the window in weak desperation.

Research revealed her to be a Hackberry Butterfly. Since she seemed hungry, I offered her honey on the tip of my finger. She liked it. (Incidentally, I spent my entire childhood trying to get a butterfly to perch on my hand. The best things happen unexpectedly :)

In fact, she liked it so much that when I took her outside and set her on a flower, she waited there until I came back with my camera and hopped back onto my hand. It's nice to be appreciated!

The doorknob malfunctioned while we were there, and because Adam can't stand Things Unfixed, he fixed it...

..while I made cowboy cookies for a Young Marrieds get-together this evening (which aided in the making of an enjoyable evening).

And finally, I finished the ruffled skirt I've been working on all month! While reaching that goal makes me very happy, that means now I have to/get to start the next two projects in line - it's a good thing I like green!

Learning - for the Purpose of Godliness

The Latin word from which we derive the term “disciple” means “student.” Students study. Apply your heart to instruction and your ear to words of knowledge (Proverbs 23:12) and, the wise lay up knowledge (Proverbs 10:14). This isn’t the type of study that allows you to quote the textbook for an important test and then immediately forget it. This kind sticks and comes back to haunt you later, when you need it. Some of it may be picked up along the way, but the most (and the best) needs to be pursued.

We are to serve the Lord our God with all our mind (Mark 12:30), among other things. With all your mind suggests a focus and intensity that doesn’t just happen on its own. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Conformation is what happens when we go with the flow - transformation is an active process. Pour your energy into learning God. This isn’t just Scripture memory (although that’s certainly a part of it) - this is a deeper, more expansive study.

But we have to be careful what we immerse ourselves in. Philippians 4:8-9 says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Any study outside of Scripture must be filtered through a Scriptural lens. The world we inhabit is constantly trying to feed us its culture - sometimes it succeeds (lit classes have book lists of immoral works, the entire field of science is saturated with evolutionary theory, marketing and journalism are practically founded on Marx’ teachings…), but we have to be able to separate truth from lies and only focus on the true and praise-worthy.

In our pursuit and collection of knowledge, we must not become arrogant, but remember that the key word of the Greatest Commandment is “love” (1 Corinthians 8:1). Mere learning is not enough - it must be tempered with wisdom, and that comes from the pursuit of other disciplines (Bible intake, prayer, worship, evangelism, serving, stewardship, fasting, silence and solitude, and journaling, if you go with Don Whitney’s list), and with help from the Holy Spirit.

Both too much and too little learning can lead to apathy; too much (if not mixed with wisdom) will create a being of all brain and no heart, but with too little knowledge the urgency (and perhaps even ability) to share the Gospel fades. We should seek balance in all things - not to balance God with Everything Else, but to give equal passion to every aspect of our Christian discipleship.

Thoughts on a Walk

Your word is a lamp to my feet and light to my path. Psalm 119:105

The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever. Isaiah 40:8

How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Psalm 119:103

The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims His handiwork. Psalm 19:1

Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, "Out of his heart will flow rivers of Living water." John 7:38

A Fine Line

All my life I've been Myself. It meant that I didn't have many (or, at times, any) friends, but the people who liked me as I was, I was willing to pour into. "Acquaintance" isn't really in my vocabulary, and I make terrible first impressions. I never cared what people thought of me - if they wanted me to be someone that I wasn't, then they weren't worth changing for.

Then I married Adam. So it's no longer "Sarah Jo" --- no, now I've become "Adam's wife". Which is a beautiful thing, until I deviate from socially standardized behaviors and thereby cast a shadow on him. This has led to some inner turmoil, and an attempt to distinguish between the tendencies of a selfish sin nature, and the other-worldly non-conformity that comes with being a follower of Christ.

First (and most importantly) - what does Scripture say about my role?

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." Ephesians 4:13
"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:10-12, 26-27, 30

Secondly - what does society say about my role?

Well, that depends. 60 years ago, it would be expected that I be a polite, proper lady - well-groomed, always fresh, ready to greet my husband at the door of our impeccably clean home with a smile on my face and dinner on the table. (There is, to my mind, nothing inherently wrong with this image and I feel it to be infinitely better than a more modern view). Now, I am encouraged to Be My Own Person, Have A Career, Stand Up For My Rights, and other similar bits of slogan-esque advice. Much it centers on self-advancement and not on selflessly sacrificial love.

Thirdly - what do I actually do?

No era of society would, I think, be accepting of my approach. Independently dependent, I do "submit" to my husband (not as well as I should), but perhaps in a unique way. The bit in Proverbs 31 about "working with her hands" I can thoroughly embrace, but what of the rest? In the grey area between legalism and conformity, there must be a rock (or Rock) to which I can wade from the mire, but I'm not quite sure where the murk ends and the edge of solid ground begins.

Adam tells me that he likes me as I am - and I believe that he believes it, but could I be better? If I sought harder still to love my God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, and then used the love He gave me to love and serve my husband, would it look different than how our life looks now?

Shop Girl

I love my job. How could I not? To be surrounded by knitting and knitters... I don't say, "I have to go to work," I say, "I get to go to Handheld." I get to knit, to help people with their knitting, to pet all the pretty new yarn that comes in...

Today we got in several large boxes for Spring. I spent about 3 hours rearranging to make room for the new yarn, and putting it neatly into place. At one point I stopped in my tracks and thanked Cynthia for letting me do it - and I meant it. I had a deeply enjoyable afternoon, playing with string.

People ask me what I do; I tell them I knit. But I doubt anyone realizes the full scope of what that means. I don't just knit - I teach it, speak it, read about it, write about it (prose and poetry), take pictures of it, fill pages with drawings and mathematical calculations on it --- between the time I spend thinking about it and the time I spend actually knitting, it literally occupies most of my time.

Knitting is more than a hobby to me --- it's also a engaging career; a retreat into introspective thought and circumspect prayer; an outreach to knitters and nonknitters, believers and nonbelievers alike; a source of inspiration; a form of art for art's sake and a way to create useable, wearable garments for myself and for others; in short, I don't just knit. I am a Knitter.

Who Am I

I feel like the thing that most easily defines me is knitting - that that's my passion, and if someone knows one thing about me, the one thing they know is that I knit. It's what I know best, and what I'm most comfortable doing - it's the topic I can go on about for the longest. I love my knitting community, because it is a community. But once I leave that community, I am at a loss.

Despite being both a woman and a wife, domestic pursuits are not my forte. Hosting and cooking are both things that Adam is infinitely better at than I (above is my somewhat creative attempt to create a warm, humid environment for rising bread - the outcome of which is currently undetermined),

and I'm much more at ease around animals than around children (another area in which Adam excels). It's not that a baby's smile doesn't make me smile in return, but that a wagging tail strikes a slightly deeper chord.

I go forth, socially and to serve, separate from him. Sometimes people ask me where Adam is and I can't give a detailed answer. It's not that I don't care for him (deeply - oh, so deeply!) but that precise itineraries aren't really important.

So often I feel alien, as though I speak a different language than those around me. Home educated and not having attended college, a 20-something with a career stereotyped as a hobby for the elderly, a human who prefers the company of animals, a woman who desires to teach and lead (yet dislikes cooking, cleaning, laundry and such-like) - I try to be outgoing and friendly, to find my place... but thus far, it's eluded me. I feel disconnected from those around me.

In the grand scheme of things, the only person that I need to be accepted by is Christ - His final defense of me is all that really matters. He gave me the directive of bringing Him glory - if I can do that, as His, then I begin to fade into a reflection of Someone greater, and who I am becomes who He is.